It’s a relatively well-known fact that you can tell a lot about a person by what’s in their CD player. If your listening to Neil Diamond, my guess is that either your the son of a divorced mother, or a divorced mother. If it’s the Beastie Boys or Ween, I’ll wager $20 that you voted green party last election. Brittany Spears and I know I’m dealing with a lonely and overweight, middle aged man.
I personally have none of these titles in rotation at the moment. Instead, by looking at my CD player one would deduce that I am both dashingly handsome and of insurmountable good taste.
“Why?” you may ask.
Well, dear reader, the answer is obvious, because rounding out month number 2 at slot 6 in my trusty changer is none other then Faux Jean; the greatest band you’ve never even heard of… yet.
“Huh? Fake Denim? Are you sure that you didn’t vote green last election?” easily
You heard me right. Faux Jean, phonetically pronounced “pho gene”, is a 6-piece rock-n-roll band out of the great city of Minneapolis, MN. The band, which busted onto the scene in 2000, is comprised of the one and only Faux Jean on guitar and vox, and the lovely Jean Angle who sings, and plays a mean tambourine. Jean D’ax is the resident ivory tickler and maker of all sounds that go beep. Faux Wayne rocks the bass lines so hard that it makes your jumblies jiggle, while Gene Wire clearly holds the world record for being the single most interesting looking guitar player ever. Last, but certainly not least is Grinder, on drums, who in many ways is a show unto himself, and also shares an odd resemblance with Animal from “The Muppet Show”.
“Are these their real names?” you ask.
No, of course not. But, as their own description on MP3.com states, “This is a band with a plot”. I will let you discover for yourself just what that plot is. However, I will share how that plot has created some of the best original music around, both live and recorded.
As a live band, Faux Jean is nothing short of a spectacle. Highly stylized, and dressed to the nines. With their matching black suits and red ties, and all black hair, it’s hard not to imagine them as one of those bands that washed up on the shores of Gilligan’s Island only to play in a musical grudge match against dear old Gilligan and gang. Their music is a perfect blend of early American and British rock with just a smidgen of new wave to make things more interesting. If Faux Jean’s stage presence and charisma had a life of it’s own, it would be the guy at the party wearing the lampshade and nothing else while bucking like a bronco on a broomstick singing “You ain’t nothing but a Hound Dog”.
Their first album, “Kiss Life on the Lips” was released in 2001. This album manages to capture all of the magic and energy of their live shows and bottles it a convenient carry home package. Call it perfume for the soul. With such infectious songs like “Nature”, “Flight of the Bumble Bee” and “G-a-go-go”, just to name a few, you’ll quickly find yourself singing along as loud as you can. The hooks are so catchy it’s almost like a rash. A warm, fuzzy rash that makes you feel good all over.
Besides, you know that your on your way up in the world when Penthouse Magazine starts dropping your name around.
So, now dear reader, you know. If you too want to be perceived as dashingly handsome, and of insurmountable good taste, proudly declare your love for Fake Denim.
Faux Jean is slated to release a new album later this year, so I’ll only have to wait a little longer until I can have a pair of jeans in my CD player. Ha ha. Get it? A Pair of Jeans?