Hitchhiker's Guide to Reviewing

I’ve been associated with GOM for quite awhile now and have seen a lot of trends come and go. As a result, I thought it might be helpful to give some of my tips to reviewers, and also to people seeking to have their music reviewed. So here goes…

Tips for Artists Wanting To Be Reviewed

1. Are you truly ready to get a real review? Think about what you’re
  doing before you submit that request. You’re asking a fellow human being,
  who has different likes and dislikes, and different perspectives, to dissect
  your pride and joy, then publish the resulting blood-n-guts on the public Internet for the entire world to see. Of course, many reviews will be
  positive, perhaps even overwhelmingly so, but remember that there’s a very meaningful chance the reviewer will not see your work the same way you do. Don’t submit that review request until you’re emotionally and spiritually ready
  to handle brutally honest critique, or even a direct challenge. Once you’re ready, then let it fly!
2. Improvement is the name of the game. Why does GOM exist? Two
  reasons. First, we exist to challenge the independent music scene to live
  up to its potential. Second, we give the listener a chance to find the
  best music on the net and see how the indie scene is doing. So if
  you get back a review that has suggestions for improvement, listen to those suggestions carefully. And if you get a really negative review that flatly
  slams your song, accept it in the spirit intended: the reviewer is challenging
  you to improve your craft. We all here at GOM want to see independent music wipe away the over-commercialized meaningless corporate drivel that the
  music industry has become. By challenging you to improve, we are helping
  both you and the indie scene reach that goal.

1. Give your reviewer a break. Believe it or not, even when a reviewer
  gives you a negative result, they have worked hard on your review. The
  reviewer has invested a lot of emotional and intellectual energy in your song,
  perhaps even especially for negative reviews. Remember, you may disagree
  with the verdict or the critique, and you may even think the reviewer is a moron. But have a little respect for the fact that none of us is getting
  paid, and we’re doing this only for the reasons already stated. On top of
  that, we’re all human beings here too – and we have bad days as well as good
  ones. Sometimes that is reflected in our work, despite our best efforts.

1. Use the feedback function. Believe it or not, every reviewer at GOM
  does receive the feedback you provide, and it does mean a lot to them. Further, the management of GOM also receives every artist feedback form, so you
  can rest assured that your “review of the reviewer” will indeed be
  heard. In the future, GOM will provide further ways for artists and fans
  to provide feedback to reviewers, but for now this is the best way to help the
  reviewers improve their craft, and help improve GOM as a whole.

Tips for Reviewers

1. If you don’t like the genre, don’t do the review. I personally despise almost all country music with a passion, and I find it very difficult to set aside those feelings when I do a country review. As a result, I avoid doing country reviews like the plague. If you cannot rise above your own genre preferences and likes/dislikes, then don’t do the review. Instead, review something that has a chance of being liked.

1. If you don’t understand the genre, don’t do the review. I have a lot of trouble understanding rap music. Not literally understanding the words, mind you, but understanding the vibe, the meaning, the whole experience, what makes a good rap song and what makes a bad one. I just don’t get it (and I have tried). As a result, I don’t personally do rap reviews. Why? Well, I put myself in the shoes of the artist. Would I care what somebody like me had to say about my rap song? Ask yourself that same question before you write the review.

1. Invest the time. Remember that the artist out there is giving you their baby, their pride and joy, and asking you to rip it open and talk about what came gooshing out. Yes, we’ve all done many reviews, so one may not seem any more important than another, but remember that your review is very important to that artist out there. If you’re going to give them a very good score, or a very bad score, you owe it to the artist to explain why, in detail. Nothing destroys credibility faster than to give an extreme score out with only a paragraph or two of irrelevant banter to support it.

1. Remember that we do not give out a handicap to independent artists! This admittedly is a hard task to master, but it must be done. Remember that you are judging in each category on a scale from 0-10, where 0 means it is the absolute worst thing ever made by any artist anywhere, and 10 means it is the absolute best thing ever made. A 10 means that Beethoven and Clapton and the Beatles would all be jealous of the piece. There is no GOM handicap that says “well, independent artists don’t have as much money as signed artists, so we should cut them some slack.” No way folks. We at GOM believe that indie music can and sometimes DOES live up to the best that commercial music has to offer. Giving sympathy points to independent artists serves nobody’s interest, especially the artists. So if you ever give out something higher than an 8 or lower than a 2, think hard about what you’re doing…

Well, that was fun! Do you have comments about this article? I’d
love to hear ’em, even if they’re nasty. 🙂 You can mail me
anytime at [email protected].

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