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You are here: Home / gom / The Most overhyped Band in History

The Most overhyped Band in History

January 23, 2020 By Manish

In general, I am happy with the direction music is going in right now. There are much more bands of talent and quality then there were in, say, 1999. Rap metal is on the way out, garage rock is coming back in. Overproduced crap is getting off the airwaves, and indie rock veterans are finally getting some of the attention they deserve.

But there is still one thing I do not understand.

WHY, IN GODS NAME, DO PEOPLE LIKE COLDPLAY???????

I mean, goddamn. Coldplay? You have to be joking me.

They are setting box office records here in Los Angeles for their show at the Greek theatre. Their old album seemed to be universally loved, and there new album is selling great, and getting 4 star reviews from just about every big name possible. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t at least somewhat like this band now. Even my metalhead friends.

Is there something I am missing, or is this the most overhyped band in history?

Coldplay have been compared favorably to Radiohead. RADIOHEAD!!! That is just disgusting. Radiohead covers intense themes about alienation and desparation—Coldplay do not. Not whatsoever.
“Look at the Stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do, and it was all yellow”?
“I never meant to cause you trouble, I never meant to do you harm.”?
“In my place, in my place, the lines that I can’t erase, I was lost, Oh yes”?
8th grade poetry if I ever heard it.

Radiohead are very experimental, using both synthesizers and instruments to produce a haunting and versatile sound like no other.

But even fucking Travis, a band not known for straying from formula, looks like Frank Zappa compared to Coldplay. The guitars are basically simple, 2 seconds riffs repeated ad nauseum, with maybe a key change during the chorus. The song structure is sparse, and the drums sound as mechanical as a drum machine. Worst of all is the singer, Chris Martin, who treads a fine line between a cat screaming and Noel Gallagher. I don’t know which is worse. It’s hard to tolerate. I’m serious, anything from “Parachutes” makes me want to run out of the room.

Why is an album that any 2 bit hack could churn out making it in the top 10? Are Rolling Stone giving Coldplay props for being less original than any other band? I don’t know why, but this is a band that everyone loves, and they have inspired levels of loathing that I haven’t felt since Creed?

There must be some cosmic inside joke at play here. Please, someone let me into the loop. I just don’t understand.

Filed Under: gom

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