I just finished my 35th electronica review. Fewf! And y’know, I’ve come to a certain realization: there’s a lot of CRAP out there. Not just in electronica… there’s crap everywhere; but electronica is the easiest genre to make, and thus, we are exposed (thanks to the internet) to much more of this kind of crap. There’s also a lot of good electronica, but that will have to wait for another article. The subject of this article is specifically internet techno. Because of it’s unique sound and recurrent themes, I’ve found it necessary to develop a vocabulary for describing this particular genre. Here is the preliminary dictionary.
internet techno – electronic music produced on a PC and available primarily through the internet.
clunky beat – a basic, 140BPM drum beat with, possibly, a hihat and/or a snare/clap, but not necessarily. Notoriously souless; these beats give the song a neanderthal feel.
clippers – samples in a song which have obviously been downloaded or ripped from a better song. They sound out of place because they’re higer quality than the rest of the song.
Casio Cravers – Synth riffs which are so basic, boring, banal, and bad, they make you wish the song was written on an old Casio (as it would be better quality).
the gain predicament – an increase in volume which is meant to substitute for a climax.
Whimper build – a pathetic little snare build.
Cracker build – a rediculously loud, or harsh sounding snare build.
PoliCor – describes loops which “take turns”. A series of loops/samples which are arranged such that every loop/sample is played with every other loop/sample. The producer of a poliCor track is more concerned with “trying everything” than he/she is with musicality.
New Sample Syndrome – the changing of directions of a song to accomodate a new sample/sound. Musically directionless; emphasis on “cool samples” rather than musicality.
Epic trash – unnecessarily long tracks.
Okay! That’s it for now. I’ll add more as I deem necessary. Here’s a sample review using my ne found terms.
“Article Body” by ‘URL’ is a PoliCor, epic trash internet techno track. With a serious case of new sample syndrome, the only thing keeping me interested was the synth riffs; but they were serious casio cravers. Clunky beats and whimper builds DO NOT constitute drums! Right at the end, ‘URL’ used the gain predicament after a cracker build on a clipper which made me curl up all fetal and shudder for several hours.
TA DA! Obviously I won’t use these terms AS MUCH as that, but every once in a while they might come in handy.
